Thursday, October 28, 2010

My Opinion. (Even though you didn't ask for it.)

I am not "against" Halloween. I am not against kids dressing up. I am not against candy. (I am REALLY not against candy.) I am not against making fun of your fears and doing scary and spooky stuff. I'm actually one of those Christians that doesn't think that trick or treating "celebrates Satan." (I know I'm going to get hate-mail for that one. See below for email address.)

What does bother me is the otherwise wonderful ladies who think that dressing up in a "risqué" costume is a good idea for when they go trick or treating with their kids.

1. What message are you sending your little girls?
"The way you get attention, and the way you get people to value you is by displaying your body in a lascivious way."
Don't young girls have enough issues with self-image? Shouldn't we be encouraging them to be respected for their character and intellect, and not just for how cute or sexy they can look? Telling them one thing and then doing another thing sends mixed messages, and your actions will ALWAYS speak louder than your words.

2. If you're a Christian, why purposefully cause your "brothers in Christ" to stumble?

Matthew 5:27-28
27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
~ Jesus, Sermon on the Mount 
Dudes are visual. Enough said.

I just think that we have allowed our culture to shape our values without us realizing it.
And if it is your "value" that your sexiness is what you want to be valued for, more power to you. It's still a free country.
But if you want to cultivate Christ-honoring values... well, maybe you should re-think that costume.

My opinion. You are welcome to disagree.

Mail all grievances to: paul@youreentitledtoyourownopinion.com

Friday, October 22, 2010

This One is Tough One...


Today, I'm performing a funeral service for the husband of a friend that I've never really met.

Heather is our local newspaper reporter. At least, she was when I first "met" her. She did stories in our local area for the St. Charles Herald Guide, and so we became "friends" on facebook.

I followed Heather as she got engaged, picked out a wedding dress, and counted down the days to her wedding. It was sweet.

Afterwards, she posted pictures of the wedding. I was happy for her.

Heather struggled with some physical issues, so from time to time, I would pray for Heather and send her a note of encouragement.

At times when she would struggle, she would talk about how much her husband meant to her. He seemed to be such a great guy, always there for her to pick her up when she was down. I was glad she had him to be strong for her, to help her, and to walk with her in the valleys.

Then last week she was announcing their one year anniversary.

I thought, "Wow, that went by fast!"

Then she posted pictures of preparations she had been making to finally eat her wedding cake topper with her beloved. I thought, that was really neat!


That was last Sunday. Her one year anniversary.

When I got the phone call Monday, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Sean, Heather's husband, had been killed in a tragic automobile accident. I was shocked.

When I got off the phone, tears welled up in my eyes. I thought to myself, "I don't even know this couple, why am I being so emotionally affected?"

I know some people are really negative about facebook and other social media, but over the past couple of years, I've built a different kind of "friendship" with Heather.

Yes, it was a casual acquaintance. And yes, the communication was almost always one way.

But Heather needed a place to remember her husband one more time. And she needed somebody to help her say good-bye.

So, today, here at Life Fellowship, I'll do my best to do just that. In just 30 minutes or so, I'll read the letter Heather wrote for her beloved Sean. And I'll try to keep from crying while I do it.

Say a prayer for Heather, for her family, and for Sean's parents, and his family. They lost someone really special. And in a unique way, I did too.

Oh, and yesterday, Heather posted another picture. A key she's putting into her husband's coat pocket. She wants him to know he's always welcome at the home they shared.


I'm glad Heather's my facebook friend. And I'm glad I have this opportunity to be here for her and her family in real life. I guess that's when social media really "works."

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

A Poem by Whitney Lingle (2003)

TO PASTOR PAUL:

So many times I turned away
I hid my face in total shame
I knew the whole time
I knew all along
That the ways of the world were wrong

You never seemed to care
How rotten I had become
You never even asked 
The things I had done

You offered to me
Your shoulder & your ear
And gave a reassuring smile
With each condemning tear

There were many jobs & tasks
That you had to do
But time w/ me you put before them
You were truly devoted, I knew

You have played a big part
In who we are today
What you have been to us
No one could ever replace.

To us you were not just our Pastor
To us you are so much more
Our friend, our leader, our mentor
Our group you called “The Core”.

You’ve led us here, to where we are today
Knowing you wouldn’t always be around
All along preparing the way 
For us to step up and lead

So here we are, we’re ready
No regrets, no fears, no worries
Giving it our all, never holding back
Proving to you who we can be

Thanks Whitney!

Friday, October 8, 2010

"Never Discipline in Anger"


Our Associate Pastor, Reverend Jonathan Logan has been teaching a "Biblical Parenting" series on Wednesday nights. As the father of five wonderfully behaved children, and with his command of the Scriptures, Pastor Jonathan has spoken to this topic with authority, humility, and humor. (You'll want to get the CD's).

These past two weeks, Pastor Jonathan has been covering the topic of "discipline." Among the many statements that stuck out to me, Pastor Jonathan reminded us that "discipline is something you do FOR your children, and not something you do TO your children."

I also loved the idea that "if you don't discipline your children at home WITH love now, later the world will discipline your children WITHOUT love."

But I got to thinking about a statement Pastor Jonathan made this past Wednesday... he said, "Never discipline your children in anger."

Now, I'm not a parent, so tell me what you think about this...

I think that one of the reasons some parents will discipline their child in anger is because they didn't discipline their children when the child FIRST needed to be corrected.

Here's my thought. A parent observes their child doing something inappropriate, something that needs correction. They tell their child to "stop that." But the child does not stop. But rather than correct the child's behavior then and there, they let the behavior continue.

Why? Who knows? The parent is tired. The parent doesn't want to fight that battle. The parent thinks the child won't listen anyway, or... because the parent isn't that upset (ie. angry) yet.

And of course, a child that is not corrected with discipline will continue with his/her inappropriate behavior. The parent will continue to tell the child to "stop that." Perhaps he/she will raise his/her voice to show that he's/she's serious. The child is unimpressed. Then the parent begins the countdown... 1... 2... 2-1/2... meanwhile, the child knows that he/she is approaching his/her ever-shifting boundary. But the child MUST find the boundary.

Finally, in utter frustration, and perhaps anger, the parent finally snatches the child up and applies whatever discipline is called for... Not because the parent wants to make sure his/her child receives "discipline at home with love," but because their child has finally made them angry.

I think Pastor Jonathan was trying to tell us that if we would discipline our children when they first exhibited their inappropriate behavior, when we weren't upset, we could have administered that discipline in the proper frame of mind, with self-control, and with love.

Yes, it's a lot of work. Yes, it's a battle. Yes, it's time-consuming and inconvenient. But... aren't your children's character and future worth it?

Tell me what you think.